Listening Is An Art

We all do it. Ask a question and continue doing unimportant tasks while the answer is being given. We do our best to actually remember the answer, but have you ever had to re-ask the question? Have you ever asked the question again later on in time, as you don’t even remember if you asked the question to begin with?

Our mouths ask the question but our brains shut off, for the most part, to the response. It is not that we don’t want the answer, we would not waste the time to ask it in the first place, we just don’t know the art of the game.

If you have ever watched an expert Listener, you will know just what I am talking about. It takes real practice and focus to master this strangely. We seem to out grow our natural instincts to wait for a response like we did when we were children. Our busy world has bombarded our senses to the point where we are doing too much at once to actually take the time to listen to things that we wanted to know in the first place.

How can you master this important trait? Where do you start? Focus on the person. Look them in the eyes. Take in what they are not only saying, but the feeling behind the words. Do not interrupt them, no matter how hard it is. Forget any preconceived ideas on what they may say. Take a deep breath before you respond. The silence means more than anything you could have said in that brief moment.

Practice this and you too will start taking in the wonderful moments of the human language. It’s bonding moments and true understanding of another person’s thoughts.

Let me know how you go!

Vicki G.

Pure Life Strategies

 

Traffic Jam of Life

Not that long ago our ancestors believed the world was flat. If we went to the horizon we would drop off the edge. Everyone believed this as a true fact. Our minds play these games on us in a way to keep us safe. When something is unknown it fills the void with the worst case scenario to keep us from danger.

This worst case story can be good in the short term, yes. This knee jerk reaction keeps us focused on a problem until it is solved. So you are thinking this is a wonderful protective gift that we should cherish, right?

The issue with living on this fear based life can be an extremely sad & unfulfilled one. Instead of using our intellect for seeing-not the visual seeing, but the truthful seeing using one’s self reasoning-we have a very distorted outlook.

If I wake up in the morning to my neighbors fighting, the dog barking, & news on the radio of a massive traffic jam on the road I go to work on…..My protective brain alerts me to a day of chaos & struggle. The truth can be very different though. My neighbors could have just won a lot of money & they are choosing which world trip to go on. My dog could be barking in excitement of play with my husband. The traffic jam news could lead me down another route to see a spectacular rainbow.

Perception of what we see/believe to be true needs to be fine tuned to seek out those realities in life and take the stance of something better versus the instant void filling doom & gloom preparing us for battle.

What you see & think are not the same as the truth & fact. 

We make our own reality, no matter what s going on. Which will you choose…..the traffic jam of life or the rainbow of a brighter future?

Vicki G.

Pure Life Strategies

Waiting to see the Doctor

No matter how old we get or the reason we are there, visiting the cold environment of a doctor’s reception area never really changes.

We try to sit quietly in our own little uncomfortable chairs trying not to wonder what incurable strain of virus those around us might have.

There is always a child who seems to be high on some sugary treat mom is now regretting was available earlier in the day.  No matter how we try to ignore the ever growing squeals, we are all secretly hoping they have an injection awaiting them next.

Our eyes gaze over an older person knowing they are all dressed up for this special occasion of seeing the Doctor who has probably had numerous vacations paid for by them. This poor soul who’s life revolves around this environment during the last years of their lives.

Do Doctors not care about being on time? Should it be a given that they are not? What if I showed up late, would  I still get in or would I forfeit, even though my turn had not come yet? Do I dare? Should I try it next time?

Ahhhh the things we think of in the waiting room….

Vicki G.

Pure Life Strategies

I Forgot the Happiness

Life is just a crazy journey, isn’t it? We pretend to know what we are doing and want people around us to think we know it all as well. Forbid it to ever be known that we have skipped a beat along the way.

I was in a groove. The pleasures of posting, blogging, inspiring others was just another movement like breathing. Then, boom, I forgot. A month has gone by and I am realizing that I have not worked on inspiring others on the normal daily basis. What the heck is that about?

I love doing this. Why would my brain suddenly stop doing this? Is this not an embedded habit after all this time? I feel alive when I do this, why would I just stop?

Thinking, as we do, I must attribute it along the same lines as when we start eating healthy/exercising and we feel so great. A piece of cake can take that wonderful feeling into a swan dive and it is like a windshield wiper has cleared our brains of that wonderful healthy feeling. We go off the rails.

What the heck is this all about? When we know what we like and is good for our mental and physical health do we forget due to something shiny being put in front of us………or just life itself?

Let me know if you figure it out.

Vicki G.

 

They Are Not Your Problems

You are a great friend & family member. They come to you for your help. You have always been there for them & everyone else. You can be counted on and trusted.

Here is where they feel better but you start to feel increasingly burdened. Being one of these great people comes with a very high cost. Unless you have learned how to manage this special responsibility, you will not age gracefully.

You are now taking part of their issues into your own wellbeing, your own journey. Some of us might think, well isn’t that part of the deal? Isn’t that what being a good person is all about?

Hell no! You come first before anyone else. Now don’t stop reading & hear me out. If you don’t take care of yourself first, then you are not there for anyone else. If you are at your best, you can offer your best to those you want to assist. Being a martyr only helps oneself to glory.

I am not saying not to help others, I am the first to step up to the plate to assist, believe me. What I am saying is to help without swallowing the germ. Keep it outside of your mental self. Assist without making the problem yours.

Listen to those needing to be heard. Pull them out of the fire without burning yourself. Give them air without taking your own.

It takes practice, but when you feel yourself being weighed down from someone else’s dirt, take a shower & grab a shovel, but don’t get stuck under that growing mountain.

Vicki G.

Pure Life Strategies

Ownership of the World

Do you sometimes feel that heavy weight on your shoulders? Maybe even now, the tension causing you to curl into yourself? It is the weight of others.

Others? Yes, that is right. Others. This can be friends, family, or co-workers , but believe it or not, it can be total strangers. When we hear people’s problems, Ā mistakes, accidents, or dramas we take a piece of it into us. We absorb a portion.

If it is someone close to us, human nature kicks into fight mode to protect or defend them. If it is something you watch or hear on the news, we still feel it but in a lesser way. It all affects us.

Like you maybe,Ā I had a daily routine of watching the news each day at least once. We are told that the world is a terrible place & war is all around us, and people are out to harm you, unless you are a celebrity or wealthy. When someone has a problem, I feel it is my job, more truthfully my duty as a friend/relative to fix it. Boy do my shoulders hang low. Life looks as if it is not such a great idea, but something to struggle through.

I decided to stop watching the news or reading the standard hard newspapers & websites. People were telling me I was going to miss important things, what if it was something I really needed to know? Ā It could be life dependent information. I laughed and asked what people used to do less than a century ago? If it was important, it’s called word of mouth.

I did feel a bit worried at first admittedly. Information did come as expected, but not as intense and as more of fact verses scare tactics, unforgettable horrific images, & what ifs based on the paid advertisement. Ratings ratings ratings.

I feel free. If I crave news, real news,there are websites giving topical daily news not paid for news I can go to. This seems to be less & less of a need as time goes by. I know the world is a good place made up of 99% original people, not fakes being paid to be that way.

My life is getting weightless. I am still concerned, caring, & charitable to the entire world but the gloom is gone. Yours can be too, or at least a little less shoulder curling. Ā What we see on tv is to lure you in to their channel. Newspapers & websites are there to get you hooked on them, not to the competition. Humans are drawn to tragedy & unpalatable images, no matter how much we try to pretend otherwise.

You can break your pattern of unnecessary burdens in your life. Try it. Go on, I dare you, go without the news for awhile.

Next blog we will talk about the weight of friends & family, so stay tuned….

Vicki G.

Pure Life Strategies